Dream By Dream
by Marauder-In-Disguise
Summary: What you didn't see during 'Attached'...rated T just to be sure


**A/N I wrote this many moons ago, the first time that I saw 'Attached'. It's one of the first pieces of fanfic I ever wrote and I found it lurking today. It's my bad if I have anything wrong in terms of sequence of the episode etc**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, they would have been together years before...and we wouldn't have had the little foray into Worf/Troi territory either**

Beverley lay down next to the fire in an attempt to keep off the chill of the night air. She tucked one hand under her chin and turned on her side, very careful to try and ignore the thoughts that she could hear running through his head. Although she was doing well in that respect, she couldn't shake off the overwhelming feelings that were radiating from him. They weren't too hard to describe – regret, guilt, relief, they were obvious but there was also something else harder to distinguish. If she didn't know better she would have said it was anger.

Jean – Luc couldn't help tracing the line of her neck with his eyes. It wasn't often that she wore her hair tied back but he always appreciated it when she did. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to hear many of hers at that moment – he held his hand to his face, convinced he could still feel her warmth and battled to lock away anything that he didn't want her to hear. He was convinced that she knew he was lying when he said that he was over his love for her but she hadn't reacted at all.

Jean – Luc Picard had never stopped loving Beverley Crusher and he wasn't sure that he ever would. What he had said today was more than he had ever told anyone, let alone her, but he hadn't even scratched the surface of his feelings for her. To be in love was one thing but to feel as though you would give up the world for someone was completely different. If Jean – Luc could be convinced that Beverley would be there for him, in his life and his arms forever, he would give up his job, his reputation, even his friends. But it would never be, and so Jean – Luc locked everything away and never did a thing.

He lay down next to Beverley, close to the fire. He was close enough to feel her body next to him, even if he wasn't touching her. She must have been almost asleep, as her thoughts and feelings were much calmer and more faded than any he had experienced that day. As he fell asleep, exhausted after their extraordinary day, Jean – Luc reflected that if this was the closest he ever got to Beverley, he would take it and cherish it.

_Jean – Luc raced through the deserted corridors of the Enterprise. He didn't know where everyone had gone but he didn't really care. All he was running towards was the one person that he knew was still on board, who had just called him and whose words echoed in his head "Jean – Luc, I need you." _

_He ran into sickbay but she wasn't there. She must be in her quarters. They weren't far and as he bowled round the corner he heard her call again._

"_I'm coming, Beverley," he replied, not sure if she could hear him or not. _

_He threw himself through the door and was surprised to see that there wasn't actually anything wrong. Indeed, there certainly was nothing wrong with the sight in front of him. She was wearing a beautiful and, he noticed with a blush, rather low cut dress, her hair was tied elegantly back and she offered him a glass of wine._

_He sat down heavily, rather bemused at the situation._

"_Beverley, what are you doing?"_

"_You know, Jean – Luc. This is what you have always wanted, isn't it?"_

"_Beverley, I don't under-"_

_She broke him off as she knelt next to the chair and took his hand._

"_You don't need to understand, Jean – Luc. Just know that I love you. I always have."_

"_But-"_

"_Don't ask questions, Jean – Luc."_

_She reached out and held a hand to his face. Leaning forwards, she kissed him. It was gentle at first, until they both turned it into something else. They stood and clung together, the kiss more probing and passionate as Jean – Luc's hands roamed over her back and found the zip of her dress._

"_Go ahead," she breathed into his mouth, "It's all for-"_

With a start, Beverley awoke. For a second she was confused, until she saw the small smile on Jean – Luc's face and knew that she had just experienced his dreams. As he was still asleep, he was probably still experiencing it. She blushed as she realised that his breathing was rather sporadic and laboured and both his hands had clenched into fists as his body rose mere millimeters from the ground. Oh God.

"Jean – Luc," she whispered, shaking him urgently, "Wake up."

With a groan, he opened his eyes and jumped slightly when he saw her looking at him. Based on what she had just seen, it was pretty obvious why.

"We should be going, Jean – Luc. It's not a good idea to stay in one place for long."

"Yes, good idea, Beverley. Let's go."

As he stood up and dusted himself off, he tried to avoid her gaze, hoping against hope that the connection between them didn't include dreaming. It could be most embarrassing if it did.

* * *

"Perhaps we should explore those feelings further," Jean – Luc whispered, losing himself in Beverley's eyes. She reached out a tender hand and left a long, lingering kiss on his cheek. He nuzzled into her and she could feel his need, his passion bubbling just below the surface. She wanted so much to let him have what she had seen in his dream but knew that if the gates opened, they would never close.

"Or maybe we shouldn't," she replied, pretending to ignore the light go out in his eyes. He didn't argue, of course- that would be going too far- and he let her pull away. She kissed him softly and stood to leave. He watched her out of the door and turned to the candles in front of him.

He blew them out, one by one.

One by one.

Dream by dream.


End file.
